Today I Am So Joyful

By Rocio Anica

Today I am so joyful
that it’s numbing. I went to the store, bought nothing,
but I walked around and touched and tried shoes
and flowy dresses. I tied a scarf around
my neck and pulled it too tight,
reminding me that I’ve yet still to die,

so I walked across the street to sit and get a Thai
iced tea. When I got there I watched a joyous
girl amble in, and I forgot about how tight
to feel I pull my scarves, admiring instead how nothing
of her seemed unmusical: the silk of her skirt, her curls, the inches around
her tiny fancy waist, and the needle heels of her patent shoes,

so when I got my iced tea, I didn’t want it anymore. I wanted Jimmy Choos
and some Manolos. I threw my tea in the trash, remembering my diet,
and returned to hunting around
for berry lipstick, sequined slacks, a box clutch. The salesgirl was overjoyed
when I flashed my AmEx. But I tired of glaring back at the little girl saying nothing
in the mirror, and I left. I went home. I lay around the house in skin-tight

lingerie watching television of lights and women dancing in tights, tidings
over vacant, truant eyes, which made me feel warm inside, so I put my shoes
back on, remembering that Christmas is coming and nothing
beats that. I made my way downtown where racks of woven, dyed
cloths—cotton, rayon, and blends, more blends—were waiting for the joy
of the holidays to give to them tribute and reverence, which we did and paid around.

Because we were hungry. And hungry still, I hung around
longer, matching premium denim with cashmere and wool. I tithed
on a pair of good names. There were camisoles in crimson and I rejoiced
when I found couture sheath dresses in my size to choose
from, with beadwork and electric colors to die
for. There is nothing

I won’t wear. Ruby-colored pants, lavender gloves, Lucite wedges. Not a thing
looks bad when I wear around
my neck and fingers precious metals and stones that some people, I heard, die
from mining, but, then, as I was buying a tight
well-tailored blouse and a pair of satin shoes
I caught a glimpse of a homeless woman outside watching me enjoy

my treats and new things, so I turned away, smiling tightly
then snuck around the back to avoid shooing
her away from my car where, dying to be home, I gas—my vacuum of comfort and joy.

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1 Comment

Filed under POEMS

One response to “Today I Am So Joyful

  1. newprairiestore

    I really, really like this poem about fashion! : )

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